It has been quite a few months now since my ex split up with me. I must admit, being thrown into the "single world" this late in my life is so strange. I mean, I was with her since I was 17 and now in two months I will be turning 29. Never have I been so lost. I don't know how to "date." I am not really enjoying the new direction my life has taken. To be honest, the stuff that hurts the most is the stuff no one ever talks about when discussing relationships. I miss coming "home" to someone. I miss them coming "home" to me. I miss someone in bed with me, even though we rarely cuddled up to each other (we had four dogs in the bed, what do you expect?!). I miss my best friend. I wish stuff didn't happen the way it did.
I think one of the hardest things I am dealing with is the fact that she is already seeing someone. After more than 11 years, it took less than 3 weeks for her to find someone. I know who it is, and I can't help but think that something may/did happen between them while we were still together. Maybe it's just my mind fucking with me. All I know is that I really don't like this. I just like the comfort of sharing life with someone special. Laughing at stupid shit. Hanging out. Going to dinner. Shit like that. Anyways, that is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night, hence the post at 1:45 in the morning.
Anyways, that's it. Trying to keep my head above water...
