Saturday, October 30, 2010
A Letter To A Friend
Dear Friend,
I'm not gonna lie, the last few days have been some of the roughest days I have had to endure in a long time. It was tragically unexpected for me and I feel confused and a little lost. To be honest with you, I don't want it like this. I've tried to hide my hurt by drowning it out in alcohol, but it's not working. I can't get you out of my thoughts; out of my heart. I know it was such a short period of time but, damn, it was great. The laughs. The great times we had. Even the pain. If I could go back and do it again, I would without even thinking twice about it. Even if going back I still had to relive this pain, I would. You mean that much to me. It would be so worth it. I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic, but my tears and the pain are clouding my thoughts. Of course, every song I hear reminds me of you and the good times we had. This is rough.
Truly,
Matt
I'm not gonna lie, the last few days have been some of the roughest days I have had to endure in a long time. It was tragically unexpected for me and I feel confused and a little lost. To be honest with you, I don't want it like this. I've tried to hide my hurt by drowning it out in alcohol, but it's not working. I can't get you out of my thoughts; out of my heart. I know it was such a short period of time but, damn, it was great. The laughs. The great times we had. Even the pain. If I could go back and do it again, I would without even thinking twice about it. Even if going back I still had to relive this pain, I would. You mean that much to me. It would be so worth it. I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic, but my tears and the pain are clouding my thoughts. Of course, every song I hear reminds me of you and the good times we had. This is rough.
Truly,
Matt
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Change Will Do You Good
It's been a while, and there have been some huge changes in my life. I never expected my life to turn around, as it felt as if I was in a downward spiral. I had been seeing a couple of people, and although they filled a temporary void, they weren't substantial. I felt as if I was just destined to be jumping from one relationship to the next, hoping and wishing for real happiness. Then SHE came into my life! This is a feeling that I haven't felt, nor do I feel I deserve to be as happy as I am when I am with HER. Here's how I met her:
The softball team I currently play on, Robian, was playing in a charity tournament. I was playing in the same tournament, however, I was with my old team, the Scallywags, that got back together just for this event. Robian was short one girl, so the woman running the event gave them a free player that had no team. When I went to go watch them play one of their games, I was smitten by this new player. She was gorgeous. She was athletic. She was sexy. I remember thinking to myself "Who is the chick in the Boston hat?!" I talked to Robert (the guy who runs the Robian softball team) and told him that we should get her to play on our team for the regular season. He agreed. Who doesn't want another hot chick on their softball team? He asked her. And asked her. And asked her. She, unfortunately, had agreed to play for another team in the same league. The worst part was that they were the worst team in the league, winning only one game in three seasons. Every time we'd play them, I would tell everyone to make an error on her hits, so she'd be on the bases and I could stare at her. Pathetic, but hey?! What are you gonna do?! She's hot!
After last season, I told Robert to call her again to see if he could convince her to join our team. She agreed and I was the first phone call he made. That was amazing news for me, and I really thought he was just fucking with me. He was not. He put together a day to get together for pizza so we can all give him our paperwork, like IDs and whatnot. She was going to be there... I had to go! This was my opportunity to finally meet her! It all went well. We had a few beers, a couple of laughs, and then we were on our way. Tradition for our team is to go out for pizza and beers after our games, so I knew I would have another opportunity to talk to her. However, almost all the guys on my softball team are single, so I knew I would have to try talking to her before anyone else did!
After our first game we all went out for pizza and beers. I was buzzed. When I am buzzed, the thin filter that I normally have goes away, and shit begins to fly out of my mouth before I can even think about it. She apparently thought I was funny, and we had a great conversation and a good old time just talking bullshit. Then, between her missing a game or two, me missing a game or two, plus holidays where our games are cancelled, I hadn't seen her in weeks. Finally, at a game in September, we were both there. Pizza, beer, hot chick? I'm in!
We ended up laughing the entire time. It was amazing. When she left, we began to text each other. She asked me to meet her at a different bar that same night. I was so excited at the chance to have some one on one time with her. We sat there and joked and laughed. I had such an amazing night! The icing on the cake was that when we walked out, I was telling her good night and we kissed. Bombs going off next to me couldn't move me away from her lips. I'm not trying to sound all gay and mushy, but it was amazing.
A few days later, we decided we were going to hang out again. This was going to be great. I wanted to make it memorable, so I decided that we should take a motorcycle ride. I love riding my motorcycle and she had never been on one, so it was perfect! I think she had fun... I know I did.
We have been hanging out quite a bit lately. I never expected or wanted to get into a "relationship," but sometimes you can't help it. She is someone who makes me feel like no one ever has before. I can't explain it, really. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile all the time, which is rare, because I haven't had that in so long. I just feel so comfortable in my own skin when I am with her. I don't have to be someone else when I'm with her. She likes me (I think!) for who I am and for some reason thinks I am marginally funny. I am excited to see where this leads to...
The softball team I currently play on, Robian, was playing in a charity tournament. I was playing in the same tournament, however, I was with my old team, the Scallywags, that got back together just for this event. Robian was short one girl, so the woman running the event gave them a free player that had no team. When I went to go watch them play one of their games, I was smitten by this new player. She was gorgeous. She was athletic. She was sexy. I remember thinking to myself "Who is the chick in the Boston hat?!" I talked to Robert (the guy who runs the Robian softball team) and told him that we should get her to play on our team for the regular season. He agreed. Who doesn't want another hot chick on their softball team? He asked her. And asked her. And asked her. She, unfortunately, had agreed to play for another team in the same league. The worst part was that they were the worst team in the league, winning only one game in three seasons. Every time we'd play them, I would tell everyone to make an error on her hits, so she'd be on the bases and I could stare at her. Pathetic, but hey?! What are you gonna do?! She's hot!
After last season, I told Robert to call her again to see if he could convince her to join our team. She agreed and I was the first phone call he made. That was amazing news for me, and I really thought he was just fucking with me. He was not. He put together a day to get together for pizza so we can all give him our paperwork, like IDs and whatnot. She was going to be there... I had to go! This was my opportunity to finally meet her! It all went well. We had a few beers, a couple of laughs, and then we were on our way. Tradition for our team is to go out for pizza and beers after our games, so I knew I would have another opportunity to talk to her. However, almost all the guys on my softball team are single, so I knew I would have to try talking to her before anyone else did!
After our first game we all went out for pizza and beers. I was buzzed. When I am buzzed, the thin filter that I normally have goes away, and shit begins to fly out of my mouth before I can even think about it. She apparently thought I was funny, and we had a great conversation and a good old time just talking bullshit. Then, between her missing a game or two, me missing a game or two, plus holidays where our games are cancelled, I hadn't seen her in weeks. Finally, at a game in September, we were both there. Pizza, beer, hot chick? I'm in!
We ended up laughing the entire time. It was amazing. When she left, we began to text each other. She asked me to meet her at a different bar that same night. I was so excited at the chance to have some one on one time with her. We sat there and joked and laughed. I had such an amazing night! The icing on the cake was that when we walked out, I was telling her good night and we kissed. Bombs going off next to me couldn't move me away from her lips. I'm not trying to sound all gay and mushy, but it was amazing.
A few days later, we decided we were going to hang out again. This was going to be great. I wanted to make it memorable, so I decided that we should take a motorcycle ride. I love riding my motorcycle and she had never been on one, so it was perfect! I think she had fun... I know I did.
We have been hanging out quite a bit lately. I never expected or wanted to get into a "relationship," but sometimes you can't help it. She is someone who makes me feel like no one ever has before. I can't explain it, really. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile all the time, which is rare, because I haven't had that in so long. I just feel so comfortable in my own skin when I am with her. I don't have to be someone else when I'm with her. She likes me (I think!) for who I am and for some reason thinks I am marginally funny. I am excited to see where this leads to...
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