Things I've Learned In 2011

• Whiskey Pong is a bad idea. No matter how good it sounds at the time.
• The whole "It was New Years Eve" excuse cannot be used on January 2, 3, 4, etc...
• Neighbors will inevitably hate me. Especially when streaking around my apartment complex. Singing at the top of my lungs. At 3 in the morning.
• There is no way, ever, to talk your way out of wiping your ass on someone's pillow. Own up to it. Be a man.
• If you're going to throw up out of your bedroom window, remember there is a screen. Remove BEFORE drinking.
• Drinking in the hospital parking lot is frowned upon by the general public. And the cops.