New Years Resolution...

I have found that New Years resolutions never work, that is, unless it's not to talk to an ex-girlfriend or to never take acid again, or something along those lines. I have stood strong against making these unrealistic goals. After all, if you don't set goals, you'll never be disappointed. I have made this my New Years resolution: If anyone tells me their resolution, I will punch them in the dick. I really could care less about what your New Years resolution is, moreover, I could care less if you lose that extra 15 pounds or if you travel to Europe. I actually like you with that extra 15 on you. It makes me look better. If I was to come up with some bullshit goal, I wouldn't tell you about it. I mean, I Twitter, I Facebook, I blog. That's about as far as I go with my narcissism. I know no one cares about my aphony about how I want to help people, or how I "need" to get into shape. I'm not saying I am happy with how I look, but I am not under the delusion that anyone wants to hear about it. So that is it. If you have a goal, keep it to yourself. Don't bore anyone with the details of your pipe dreams. No one gives a flying fuck. Do me a favor. Go kill yourself. That would make my resolution THAT MUCH EASIER. If you keep your goal to yourself it will be easier, and not as embarrassing for you, when you don't keep up with the resolution come March 1...