Balls. Sack. Apple bag. Tea bag. Nuts. Call 'em what you will. God's mistake is what I call them. Come on. There is a serious defect with "man" having a swinging sack between his legs. Look at the woman. Beautiful, perfectly designed. The man is just this lump of skin with a smaller lump of skin just hanging from it. It was like in the design process, one of God's little elves told God "Hey, what about these extra parts?" God said "Oh, shit! I forgot. Just slap 'em on somewhere."
They are horrible. They hang in the heat. They shrink in the cold. They stick to your leg. They get in the way. My life seems to revolve around making sure my nuts are comfortable. Not to mention the fact that they have the appearance of little punching bags. I have been hit in the nuts numerous times by chicks, baseballs and once, by my taylor. No one (women especially) seems to give the testicles their respect. I wish women had something that hurts as bad as getting hit in the nuts on them. "It hurts when I get hit in the boob." Bull shit. Does it hurt so bad that your stomach gets in knots and you feel like throwing up lunch minutes later? No. It doesn't.
Don't get me wrong, people getting hit in the nuts is funny. Really funny. But it is also the reason that I wear a cup to play softball. I don't need my nuts to be the butt of a joke or the reason people are laughing while I roll around in excruciating pain. Why can't they be in somewhere IN my body? Is it really necessary that they hang from beneath my dick? It's like having a weather vane between my legs. "What's the weather like where you're at, Jim?" "Hold on. Let me check my nuts. Damn. It's cold here. My balls told me so."
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