The "Rolling Stone: Decade In Review" Review

I always have a mixed feeling when I get a magazine with a "Year In Review" article, or worse yet, "Decade In Review." I was in the grocery store at about 11 pm the other night, when I came across "Rolling Stone" magazine. I have always loved RS, although they do pick horrible music and pan amazing music. I always take what they say with a grain of salt. Curious as to see what their choices for "50 Best Songs Of The Decade," I purchased the magazine. I'm just going to talk about the top ten, as the rest is pretty much white noise. I get that they aren't going to put songs in the top 50 that are good, but with no commercial success. I'll take that into account...

1. "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
I have to say, I may oddly agree with this. Let's be honest, there was a lot of music that came out between 2000 and 2009, but this song stands up. Cee-Lo's vocals and Danger Mouse's beats are infectious. The beat is amazing. The lyrics are great. The execution is right on. It has staying power, which says a lot, given the era this came out. Plus, I have heard two covers of this song. One by Ray LaMontagne and one by Shawn Colvin. Colvin's is good, but LaMontagne's is absolutely amazing. I actually agree with this choice on a lot of levels.

2. "99 Problems" by Jay-Z
This is pushing it as #2, but it definitely belongs in the top 10. Just a great song.

3. "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z
Maybe for the clubs, or just because the video, but this has no place in the top 50, let alone the top 10. Now someone is smoking crack...

4. "Hey Ya" by Outkast
This makes sense. It is a song no one could avoid, and it actually had an effect on me much like a bad commercial. You like it at first. Then you hate it. Then you really hate it. Then you hear it after a while, and you kinda like it. Plus, Obidiah Parker's version of this is nothing short of amazing. He gave it new life, as it sounds nothing like the original!

5. "Paper Planes" by M.I.A.
Pushing it for the top 10, but again, surprisingly, I agree with this. It's a song that when you hear it, you can't help but rock your head to the beat and do a little hand gun action...

6. "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes
The first one I may disagree with, as far as placement goes. This is a SOLID number 2, and I am not talking about poop. If any song should be at number 1 other than "Crazy" this is it. So simple. So rock. So good.

7. "Maps" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Are you fucking kidding me? This song sucks. I mean REALLY sucks. The band sucks. The song sucks. No one listens to them except some seventeen year old cutter between Twilight movies. You got this one wrong, Rolling Stone. WAY wrong.

8. "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse
I love this song. The beat is infectious, the lyrics are ironic and campy, it was a pop sensation, she's an absolute train wreck. It has all the ingredients for an amazing song. I can't believe they put this song this low. In my opinion, top 5 for sure. The album "Back To Black" is fantastic, start to finish. It should be higher on Rolling Stone's list of Top 50 Albums Of The Decade too.

9. "Beautiful Day" by U2
Who's dick is Bono smoking to get his band all this praise? U2 sucks. They are corporate shills on the take. Their music is beyond subpar. I can walk into any Guitar Center in this great land, and hear 10 people that could make better music than those holier-than-thou douchebags. Seriously, can you play me one song that warrants me calling the guitar player The Edge? The Edge of what? Shit music, maybe... Bad call. U2 is the worst band in the history of music. Go fuck yourself Bono. Go fuck yourself "Edge." Go fuck yourselves, um, other guys in the band...

10. "Stan" by Eminem
This is top 5, no question. I think Eminem reinvented, or at least reintroduced rap to the masses. Thank God! I grew up with Dr. Dre, 2Pac, Snoop, N.W.A., Biggie. Then it all went south. Finally someone started rapping about real shit, not all the decadent bullshit from a future Celebrity Rehabber. This song is amazing deserves to be higher on the list.

Maybe on another post I will give you my list of the Top 10 Songs Of The Decade. Who knows.

BTW- Bono, you're an asshole.