I need to get out of here. I need to get away from shit. I need to lose myself and try to put the past behind me. The hardest thing for me is coming home to an empty house. No dogs, no "girlfriend" or "girl I'm seeing" or whatever. It's not that I depend on people for my happiness, but I actually enjoy being in the presence of a person or small group of friends. Given the week or so I've had, coming home to an empty apartment hurts. I tend to dwell on my thoughts. "What could I have done differently?" and "how could you let her walk out of your life?" are a couple of thoughts that burn in my mind over and over again.
We had plans to go out to Ocotillo Wells this weekend. I was excited for her to see what going to the desert was all about. I knew she would have fun. Me, in turn, would be having fun. I love being out in the desert: riding my dirt bike, drinking, talking bullshit. I always have fun. However, being with someone for their first time is so great. I was really excited... Well, obviously, that isn't going to happen!
I am going anyways. My best friend Doug and I are heading out Friday morning. I need it to keep my mind off of her. Hopefully it helps. Time will tell...
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